What comes to mind during sex?
Of course I am able to control the images and thoughts that I have. I used to restrict everything and have rules about what I thought about. And I have experimented with using orgasm as a way to manifest my dreams...but it just doesn't seem natural to me. It strains my head.
Lately I have been letting my mind go wherever it wants during sex, and I tell you.....the images are beyond dirty...and some are extremely messed up. Should I go there anyway? Is it healing on some level? Am I empathically consuming/receiving images of similar vibration that my partner has as well? Almost without fail, the dirtier my thoughts, the more excited my partner gets and then of course I feel better and better, too. I let my mind go to see where exactly it goes on its own...but then the next day it is kind of awkward for me knowing the disgusting-yet somehow strangely healing in a weird, twisted way-images that I allowed myself to have.
I should add that although I am straight, usually these images are with other women, and sometimes it actually feels as if there is healing going on with our spirits. Many of the women I envision I have been envious of in life and so it seems like visualizing in this way is my being's way of coming to terms with everything and just loving each other anyway and going beyond all of that. At first it was kind of hurtful to be visualizing someone that I am already jealous of and having my partner get more excited when that happened...in reality I guess that would be my worst nightmare...but somehow during the act of sex, the boundaries fall away and my mind is open and stretched and there is forgiveness, love and compassion for all. And it is much easier for me to love those other women in that imaginary circumstance, since I have a lot of anger toward many of them in reality.
I think my partner feels it on a primal level...and so do I, as I accept visions of him having sex with other people. It doesn't bother me in that setting. It bothers me when I see him perk up in real life when a beautiful girl enters the room, but at night I could see him or I having sex with an image of a hot woman and it would turn both of us on.
I know this is a somewhat awkward topic, but I was interested in what kind of feedback I would receive on this forum.
Also, none of this has manifested in real life so far, so I am not so sure about manifesting while having sex, although probably intention is what sets it off, and I am certainly not intending any of this to happen in my outer reality.